No Time to Die
I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about James Bond. Specifically, the title No Time to Die. It’s a great phrase—furious, heroic, suggesting that the protagonist is simply too busy saving the world from a nuclear briefcase or something like that to bother with mortality. My personal relationship with that phrase is slightly different. When I look at the state of the world, my brain doesn't think No Time to Die because I’m busy saving it. It thinks: I literally do not ha
Jun 135 min read
Resignation
Like most days, Ray was about to go to bed with a certain desolate resignation. He had been talking to his family about how he was starting to feel unwell again and he was asked to pinpoint the culprit for his pain. Was it anxiety about futures, exams, or something equally stupid? Was it depression about dying on a dying planet orbiting a dying star? Or was it just all of it? Maybe he had been consumed by doomerism or a similar unspeakable fate, but each passing moment only s
Apr 32 min read
Homecoming
It was during a conversation with a friend at a fancy cafe that I realized the unthinkable has happened: I am homesick for a place I only just left. I have imagined my homecoming many times—hell, I lived for it—but now that I’m actually home, I miss home more than ever. Lately, when I allow myself to open up, I realize I speak of my time there as if it were my "real" life—a narrative currently on hiatus while I play a part here. It is a disorienting, circular grief; ironicall
Mar 34 min read
Why Are You So Concerned, Fool?
The blue pill was supposed to fix capitalism. The little yellow one was meant to cure his loneliness. But neither did either of the tasks well, so Ray decided to skip them both that day. Ray remembered voicing his concerns to his doctor which inevitably led to the addition of a green pill for being “batshit crazy”. Ray nowadays would sit and stare at the primary color palette on his palm: blue for the depression, yellow for the anxiety, and green for the madness. He spent hi
Feb 254 min read
