Letting go

After going through an album full of old photos, I couldn’t help but remember my stuffed toy of Winnie the pooh. It was one of my favorite toys growing up and unlike most of my other toys which were “being improved by my careful craftsmanship”, I somehow had left this one as it was. The little bear used to be my co-pilot while I played pretend pilot on the windowsill. He also had the privilege to be invited to a couple of the fancy tea parties my sister had hosted. A couple of years passed by and one day we had a small kid over at our house and naturally the thing that fascinated him the most was this particular toy. When he was about to leave, he left with the toy and I didn’t have the heart to ask him to keep it back. The little voice inside me kept bugging me with the question: what if I didn’t let him leave with it ? The rational part would always chime in later though, telling me he was just a kid and I was too old to fight for it.  I was embarrassed to talk to my mom about this but when I did, what she said made me see a lot of things in a different perspective. She was right, I had that toy for a while and had some amazing memories with it and maybe it was time for a new owner to cherish it.  Me knowing that giving the toy to the kid was the right thing to do didn’t make it any easier. 

In some ways thats the first time I realized what it means to let go.  As we all grow up we understand the meaning of this term much better. There would be one specific instance in your life which would make you, well see it so much more clearly. I tried to convince myself that it was just a toy, but thinking about it now, it was so much more. It was a part of my childhood and it was hard to let it go. I have always wondered if the whole process would have been easier for me if i had known i would have to give away that toy. I realized that I would lose things dear to me as time passes. Heck, we lose people, dreams and so much more. We all have to come to terms with the fact that maybe we wont get to say goodbye. Well, to quote one of my favorite movie dialogues of all time, in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.